Chapter 149 - Li Zirui (1)
Li Chuntao wasn\'t sure how long Shen Zichen had been standing right behind her. Had he heard everything she\'d said? She tried to read him but the man didn\'t even give her a clue. He seemed deep in thought and she could only guess that he overheard the last part of her monologue.
"Brother Zichen, what are you doing here?" She asked as she continued to stride outside.
Shen Zichen followed her closely, walking next to her. He didn\'t say anything. He wasn\'t sure if he should confront her about the truth Zheng Yue had confessed to him earlier. The guilt was eating him inside. He didn\'t know that he\'d been hurting Li Chuntao without him knowing about it.
The cold breeze was comparable to the coldness Li Chuntao had in her heart. The fallen leaves at their feet swished and moved as the wind continued to blow.
"You heard it, didn\'t you?" She asked him again. There was no point pretending he didn\'t overhear what she said back there. They took a walk together, slowly, back to the entrance where Su Ling and Yu Lou were waiting for her.
This time she received a response from him. "Yes,"
"Then aren\'t you going to ask me any questions?" Li Chuntao was unusually calm and collected when she should be worrying about his reaction.
Shen Zichen was conflicted about what should be the first thing to ask her. There were so many questions that he had in his mind, but one thing irked him the most.
"Chuntao, who\'s Li Zirui?"
This was something he was curious about. He didn\'t mean to overhear what she was saying earlier, but the thought of her having a child shocked him. What else did he not know about her? Was this the reason she hid abroad for seven years?
After his meeting with Zheng Yue, Shen Zichen left the Li Mansion with so many questions in his head. He wondered why Li Chuntao kept the truth from him and why she allowed him to believe that it was Ying all along.
Was this also the reason why Ying never took him seriously? If Ying knew that it was Chuntao whom he loved and he\'d mistaken her for Chuntao then why… why didn\'t either of them tell him the truth?
"He\'s my son," she confessed.
Li Chuntao admitted it too easily, which confused and shocked the hell out Shen Zichen. He was prepared to hear her confess about the child being hers but to actually hear it from her lips, it still caught him off guard.
"What happened to him?" If his assumption was correct, the child died even before she came back three months ago. This might have happened a long time ago and neither Ying nor he was aware of it.
"Dead. I delivered a stillbirth baby at 37 weeks." There was a slight tremble on her voice that Shen Zichen heard. "I wasn\'t able to save him," she added. It was a complication during her pregnancy that took the baby\'s life.
Silence ensued between them as neither knew how to proceed with this delicate conversation.
How was he supposed to react when he just found out that his lover had a dead son she\'d never mentioned before? What else was she hiding from him? What were the lies… No, Shen Zichen stopped himself at that thought. Li Chuntao was anything but a liar. She might have kept this a secret to protect those around her.
"How about the father? Does he know what happened to your baby?" He asked.
Shen Zichen saw her chew her lip and looked away. This was a habit he knew Li Chuntao had when she was considering how much she should spill, but he wouldn\'t force her.
"He.... doesn\'t know about the baby," she murmured to him "I had him from a one night stand," Li Chuntao smiled bitterly.
Shen Zichen halted his steps and stared at her with bewilderment. This wasn\'t what he was expecting to hear from her. He thought that the father would be someone she used to date back then.
Li Chuntao also stopped when she didn\'t hear him walking alongside her. She suddenly felt she was treading on thin ice, where it could at any moment scratch and swallow her alive.
"You had a one night stand?" He asked in confusion.
It wasn\'t like her to do something like that. Actually, he knew for a fact that Li Chuntao wasn\'t up for dating. He\'d seen men try to catch her attention before but none of them succeeded.
"Y-yes," Li Chuntao avoided his gaze and looked down as if the ground was better to look at than his face right now.
Shen Zichen chuckled and walked a few steps ahead of her.
"What a coincidence. I also had a one night stand with a faceless woman. I must be really drunk not to remember her face," he said playfully then looked over his shoulder only to see her rubbing her arm. "What are the odds that we slept together?" He blurted out with a mischievous smile on his lips.
Li Chuntao\'s eyes widened dramatically and lifted her head to look at him in shock. She was frozen at the spot as she looked at him with wide eyes.
Shen Zichen\'s smile faltered as he saw her reaction over the harmless words he just sputtered. Why was she looking at him like that? He was just joking and yet Li Chuntao looked at him as if she\'d seen a ghost.
"Chuntao?" He stepped forward, a hand reaching out to touch her but Li Chuntao took a step away from him.
Please don\'t tell me she was… she was the woman he spent the night seven years ago. And the child she lost, the boy she named Li Zirui… was his son he never knew existed.
"You are that woman…" His tone sounded like an accusation to Li Chuntao\'s ears but she didn\'t know how to respond. Her eyes were closed with tears pooling again and she blinked hard to look at him.
"LI CHUNTAO!" Shen Zichen yelled, disturbing the peacefulness of the cemetery and getting both the attention of Li Chuntao\'s bodyguards who heard his scream. Su Ling and Yu Luo were both shocked to see what was happening.
Young Master Shen and Miss Chuntao were fighting? This had never happened before!
Shen Zichen saw her shiver but not from the coldness around them but from fear of him. He shortened the distance between them and shook her shoulders.
"What else are you not telling me? Huh? Did it make you happy to see me make a fool out of myself?" Shen Zichen couldn\'t stop the words that slipped from his mouth. He wanted to know. Wanted to know why she was doing this to him.
"You know you were the one who I\'ve been looking for and you let me misunderstand that it was Ying all this time? What do you take me for, Chuntao? What?!"
He was so angry at her, but most of all he was angry with himself. He should have known all this earlier. He watched as the woman he loved finally lifted down her cold mask and broke down in front of him.
"Zichen…" Li Chuntao choked a sob, "I\'m sorry. I\'m really sorry."
Shen Zichen released her and took several steps away from her. He raised both hands and smacked his own face in rage while Li Chuntao\'s cries could be heard from where he was standing.
It was too much for him to digest and to understand and on a whim, he walked away, leaving Li Chuntao crying behind him.