Chapter 600 - 600: The Childishness
Yarin’s POV:
A gift?
He surprised me. I subconsciously began to think about what Lily might like. Then, 1 suddenly realized that my time with Lily was getting shorter. Once we went on our way, it might be difficult for us to meet again.
Lily was a girl who liked to travel far and wide, and 1 couldn’t easily leave the palace. After leaving the Silver Moon Pack, when would we meet again?
“… 1 don’t know,” I said blankly. “I’ve never thought about these questions. A parting gift? It should be something unique that Lily liked or something fun.
“I don’t know if Lily will accept it. Perhaps she thinks that my taste is childish… Should 1 ask her what she wanted? No, no, no. That’s too rude. It makes me seem insincere. How about asking Mom? She should know what girls like, but 1 don’t want her to interfere. I should prepare my gifts.”
I was tangled up like a ball of messy wool. I finally came up with an idea, but in a few seconds, I denied it myself. 1 wanted to deny it again and again.
Unconsciously, I started to mutter to myself. 1 thought about what kind of gift would be unique, and then I thought about whether Lily would like it or not. By the time I came to my senses, I had been muttering to myself for ten minutes like a broken radio.
Heller just waited there quietly. He revealed that weird look as he smiled like a sunflower.
“Don’t just sit there and smile. Help me think of a way too!” 1 said dejectedly, “I’ve thought of many ideas but feel I’m missing something. 1 feel that Lily will think that what 1 think of is very childish. She already treats me like a child! Whatever 1 do, she thinks I’m joking.”
“Then, let her think that you’re joking. What’s the big deal? Compared to her, we’re just children.”
However, Heller asked calmly, “Take me as an example. If I gift her candies, it might be childish to her. However, would she refuse this gift? We all know that Lily is a sincere person. In that case, why pretend to face her sincerity?”
“But this is different!” I subconsciously wanted to retort, but I realized 1 couldn’t find a reasonable excuse after saying this. “It’s different. 1 don’t want Lily to treat me like a child.”
“Why? Why do you think so? Is Lily any different to you? Are you any different to Lily? Why should Lily treat you differently?”
Heller brought up a merciless indifference. He pressed me and insisted on getting an unreasonable reason from me.
“Do you think Lily has to look up to you?” he asked cruelly. “Because you saved Lily’s life. Do you think this is why you’re so privileged that Lily will be at your mercy?”
“No, no! I’ve never had such despicable thoughts. I like Lily very much. I want to be friends with her.”
“You’ve been friends for a long time. From the moment you arrived at the House of the Homeless, from the night of the abandoned warehouse, and today’s Moonlight Festival, you’ve already formed a friendship with Lily. Since that’s the case, what exactly do you want? Isn’t friendship enough to satisfy you?”
I became absent-minded. Heller seemed to have disappeared, leaving me in the void, allowing the voices from all directions to interrogate my heart.
“Friends should be honest with each other. Why do you refuse to show your true self? Do you think Lily will laugh at a gift from a friend?
“You know that she will like and accept it no matter what you give. Isn’t that enough?
“We’re all Lily’s friends. Lily has more friends that we don’t know about. There must be a sense of boundaries between friends.
“Do you really want to only be friends with Lily?
“Or is it more than that?”
I thought of all the times I spent with Lily, her cold expression and occasional smile, her careful care hidden in sarcasm, her lonely expression when she was with her family, and the dazzling Moon Goddess at the Moonlight Festival.
Lily, Lily, unknowingly, my heart and eyes were filled with Lili.
Was this what friendship felt like?
‘A friend was someone you miss every minute of every second. Even if she was right before you, you had already begun to experience the sour sadness of separation?
I liked Lily, but did I want to be only her friend?
A piece of candy was stuffed into my palm, which was selected by Heller with all his efforts.
When Heller decided to give it to Lily, 1 felt happy for them. However, I felt a bit annoyed.
Now, I might know why.
“Have you thought it through?” Heller asked.
1 nodded slowly and held the candy in my hand tightly.
“I like Lily, but not just like her.
“I hope that 1 am special in her eyes. 1 don’t want her to see me as childish. That would make me unworthy of her.”
“I think I’ve fallen in love with her..”